Have you ever been dumped by at least ten girls? Would you rather not have yaoi boys at your side? Is the world a cruel place for you to live in? Well, i’ve got the solution for you!
INTRODUCING: LOVESUCKS!!
A completely revolutionary way to eliminate falling in love, and being lured into a "love trap" by an insincere woman/man!!
Three Basic Rules in the LoveSucks program:
1. Never fall in love.
2. Never let anyone fall in love with you.
3. Remember the old adage…
"A very beautiful woman means three stabs in the back,
A very cute woman means two stabs in the back,
A very charming woman means a stab in the back,
and a whore of a woman means eternal suffering."
Chapter I
"Get off ma legs Bitch!!"
The first thing to learn in this cruel game called love is that, only the good looking survive. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a loon and must succumb to a thousand years in Madam Auring’s chamber. This rule of thumb is really a no-brainer: if you think about it, everyone that wants a loved one ultimately means having a yound, beautiful, sexy hot broad at his side. Simple really.
If you are good looking and cannot find a loved one, then this book isn’t for you. If you aren’t, then dream on pal, cause you’ll never get a girl. If you did and your… on the average side, well you’re a lucky bastard. As long as
a.) she’s not using you as a shield/money machine/sex machine/helper.
b.) she really loves you and you are in a fantasy world.
If you are, like me, a victim of a prankster (ehem…), then read the title aloud in your head a thousand times. You must know when these types of attack occurs. It is when…
a.) you’ve done something cute in your first day at school. (or at the U)
b.) you’re ‘assumingly’ cute and charming (as if).
When she comes in physical contact, DO NOT strangle her like a duck. Instead, run around and hope that God showers some lightning bolts on that poor demented soul. She’ll probably let you off, since she really hates you on the inside, and could not stand another microsecond to hug your stupid gak. Remember to wash your hands (and other parts that came into contact with) after the attack, because the venom of the monster may attach itself to you and may make you… THE VICTIM!!
Signs of being a victim…
a.) You start dreaming about flowers, and all that kiddy stuff, and thinking that the world is a beautiful place to live in.
b.) You make yourself look good in front of the attacker (the term we call ‘the lure)
c.) You starts to like the most beautiful chinita supermodel type lady in the class, and wants to be with her.
It doesn’t mean that if the attack has occured that it won’t happen again. A lot of the first time survivors fell prey to the second wave. Remember this, just stick to your ‘anti-love’ get-up and watch the ‘flies’ fly away from you. A happy person is a loveless person!
Chapter 2 in the works…
